After learning so much these past few years and having various discussions with several different people I became inspired and wrote this.
A Brief Reflection
With November peaking its brown leaves and cold winds around the corner, I am reminded—yet again—that I am a senior on the road to graduation. I have an overwhelming amount of fears and doubts about my success after graduation, but I need to give myself more credit for my perseverance. I remember in high school I strongly believed that I would not get into any colleges. I remember not wanting to live to see the day that I went to college. I was hurting and I felt that I was no longer in control of my own life. I felt helpless, useless, and undesirable. These feelings did not disappear when I entered college, in fact, they became even stronger. As dramatic as it sounds, freshman year was the worst year of my life. I made my situation undoubtedly worse by keeping my emotions and issues internal. My freshman year set the tone for my entire college experience. I was stubborn and I did not seek help which in return led me to be unhappy, unhealthy, and alone. The longer you wait for a problem to go away, the bigger it grows and the harder it is to solve.
However, not everything in college is bad. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I have so much gratitude and praise for the people I have met throughout my four years of college. Although some people came and went, I cherish the time I had with them because I learned something about myself. I have to thank everyone I met because they revealed to me my worth. In the beginning, no matter how many people showed interest in me or wanted to be in my life I still did not feel good enough. I realized that it does not matter how many people like you if you do not like yourself. When my self loathing began bleeding into my relationships, I realized I needed to improve my attitude, or else I was going to lose everyone and everything that I love. Sometimes an individual's perspective is so warped that they cannot see anything good about themselves or about life. Sometimes you need an outsider to come show you that not everything is bad and despite your self-perception, other people think you are pretty awesome. And to make it clear, this does not mean relying on other people to make yourself feel good.
April of my sophomore year, I had the biggest wake up call of my life.. Without going too much into detail, I was essentially on the road to self-destruction. I was trying so hard to fix the mess that I created without understanding that I needed to repair myself first.
Self-improvement and Fulfillment
During my spring semester of junior year, I took a class with the most inspiring and motivating professor. This was when I developed a positive outlook and mentality. My professor advocates for self-improvement and self-growth. He emphasized the idea of re-thinking your life and living a fulfilling life. The nights I left his class I felt rejuvenated as if I could conquer the world.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone complains about something but does not actually do anything about it (I was one of those people). For example, I no longer have tolerance for people who always complain about their weight but do absolutely nothing to change it. It really is as simple as it sounds, if you are not happy with something, change it.
For my friend who is complaining they are fat, I would suggest why don't you begin exercising? When you bring up the idea of someone changing their life, they think you are attacking their flaws. When I suggest for someone to change I'm not implying they should change for me or anyone else, but because I believe in self-improvement and development. This person’s intention was to get me to validate them. If you are sitting there complaining to me that you are fat, or that you feel fat for the hundredth time this week, I will not try and convince you otherwise. Compliments can only do so much, because, at the end of the day, you will still feel unhappy about yourself until you CHANGE something.
Now I have learned a couple things about the word “change” when speaking to an individual in today’s overly sensitive society -- you simply cannot use it. For some reason, the word “change” has developed a negative connotation when speaking in regard to one’s self. People think changing themselves is bad because a lot of times when people talk about changing themselves it is for someone else. People have the mindset that they should not change for anyone, while this is true, I have noticed that this mentality has inhibited people from changing parts of themselves they are unhappy with. They think other people should take them as they are… right?
I discovered that I need to use an alternative word when speaking to other people about change. I now rephrase it as self-improvement, self-growth, etc. I believe that everyone has the ability to be the best version of themselves, and I think everyone should aspire to be that person.
Ever since I chose a positive mentality I am constantly more aware of myself. You are entirely in control of your life even if it may not feel like it sometimes. This is a common phrase: “be the best version of you.” It does not mean that how you are now is bad, it just means you should max out your full potential. By maxing out your full potential you are improving your overall quality of life and how you perceive yourself. I think it is so admirable to see someone repair and renew themselves. People will notice you becoming happier because you will honestly become happier. With self-improvement comes empowerment. An awesome bonus to making these huge lifestyle developments is that those around you will feel more drawn and connected to you.
Conclusion
Self-improvement is undoubtedly a hard and never ending journey, but I can certainly say that the reward is worth the effort. Self-improvement takes commitment and requires lifestyle modifications. I now go to the gym on a weekly basis, making my health a priority in my latest lifestyle revision. The need for exercise goes beyond the superficial impacts it has on the body. It does not matter what your body type is, fitness has a huge influence on improving mental and physical health. I believe exercise is important for anyone who wants to live a happy and fulfilling life. It is so much more than losing weight and “looking good” (but that’s a whole other blog post).
That's all for now folks!
Have a groovetastic life,
Rachel
*In Drake's voice: "You know, a lot of people be, thinkin' my blog posts are about them, but this is not to get confused... this one's for you"*
No matter what you do, whether it's right or wrong there will always be someone waiting to criticize. You can either let that stop you from doing what you love or acknowledge it and continue doing what you love. Through my written and deleted blog posts, I've learned to be conscious of what I am writing about. This means I take into consideration of how people may feel from my writing but no matter how I phrase something someone may think it's a personal attack, a sub-post, whatever you want to call it. All in all, they will think the post is about them. If I hint or talk about my experience with an individual I am speaking purely on how they have influenced me. It is a mere reflection of myself and not their character.
Just call me the Taylor Swift of blog posts 😉💖